How To Deal with Changing Technology? Eat Cake!

About a year ago HireVue switched email providers. This change in technology was bumpy and a little rough. Yet Vuers held on, adjusted, and made do. Those who didn't approve of the change tried to follow our Attrivute #9 - Disagree but Commit. There was much rejoicing from some, and much sorrow from others. 

This mixed bag of emotions in the company spurred an unexpected cake war between Gmail supporters and Outlook supporters. Thus commenced a week of various team members bringing in cakes to celebrate or not celebrate the email change. 

A New Chapter

At the end of August we switched from using HipChat to Slack. Again, there were supporters and non-supporters. Evan, one of our developers, decided to stick with tradition and bring in a cake.

Here is his email: 

Preamble:
In keeping with the short term tradition of eating cake when we switch technologies I brought in a cake. In a break from tradition this email and the cake will be completely non-offensive.
SLC[1] Vuers!
To commemorate[2] the switch from HipChat to Slack I've brought in a plain white cake. The plain white cake symbolizes[3] a completely non-offensive nothingness. I invite you to join me at 4:00[4] this afternoon in the kitchen to eat some sweet[6] moist[7] cake[8]. Please come and commemorate[12] with me.
Sincerely,
Evan 
President[13] of cake at Hirevue[14]
Ambassador[15] of non-offensive emails.

Footnotes:

[1] Addressing only SLC is not meant as a token of exclusion, but simply limiting the scope of the email to those who are in the same location as the cake.

[2] Note that commemorate does not suggest a celebration nor a mourning, we're just marking the event. So all are welcome whether you support or oppose the change.

[3] The use of something plain and white to symbolizing non-offense is not intended to suggest that all things or people that are either plain or white are not offensive, but simply that in this case the plainness and whiteness signifies nothing and therefore should not cause offence.

[4] The fact that this activity might in fact continue past 4:20 is in no way to be interpreted as a support[5] for marijuana. In fact the cake has hardly any marijuana in it at all.

[5] This comment should not be interpreted as denigrating those who support the legalization of marijuana. The cake does not take any position on marijuana it is pot-neutral.

[6] The sweetness of the cake is not intended to exclude diabetics nor those that are on a low or no sugar diet. All are invited to participate. Please note that the cake feels really bad for those that are unable to fully participate due to its sugar content.

[7] I'm sorry for using the word "moist" here. I understand that some may find this word objectionable or gross. I could not think of a less gross word to use.

[8] The fact that this is a cake means that it likely contains gluten. The use of a gluten product is not intended to cause offence or exclude any who suffer with Celiac Disease, or who believe[9] that they are gluten intolerant.

[9] The use of the word "believe" is not intended to convey doubt as to whether someone is really gluten intolerant or not. I mean there's no way I could know if you're gluten intolerant or not and it's really none of my business. If you're not sure you can ask your doctor[10] or something[11].

[10] OK asking your doctor may not be the best advice if you think that your doctor is part of a conspiracy to keep you sick by hiding information on how gluten is a poison or something. The comment on asking your doctor was only an idea and not intended as a suggestion or intended to give offence to any who don't think that asking their doctor is a good idea.

[11] I probably could have worked this in a way that sounded less defensive. I apologize.

[12] See note 2.

[13] The use of the work "President" should not be read as a support or a detraction from America's[16] current or past presidents.

[14] This title is not an official Hirevue title. Hirevue does not endorse this email or this cake.

[15] My use of the title of Ambassador is not intended to insinuate that my role is as important as the Ambassadors of countries who put their life in danger like the Ambassador who was stationed at Benghazi[17]

[16] The use of "America" should be interpreted as "The United States of America" I fully recognize that all inhabitants of both the North and South American continents are Americans, and no disrespect is intended for them. The use of "America" is not an endorsement of Amerigo Vespucci. I have no idea what he did or if he did a bunch of bad stuff like Columbus did (or perhaps didn't do), but just in case no endorsement of Mr.[18] Vespucci is intended by the use of this word.

[17] OK I really shouldn't have mentioned Benghazi here. Benghazi is kind of controversial, so lets just replace that with something less controversial like say Iran.

[18] I believe that Amerigo identified as male, but I'm not sure. I'm certainly not implying that the accomplishments associated with said person are exclusive or even more likely accomplished by those that identify as male.

Congrats! You made it through the footnotes[19]

If you thought that was hilarious and want to be part of our next cake party, check out our open positions and join our team! 

[19] HireVue does not endorse anything Evan said. These are purely his opinions and we are sharing the email out of humor.